I'm not your friend

I was eavesdropping on a couple of Dads at work and I heard this line that stuck.

“So I says to ‘im, Listen buddy, I’m NOT ya friend, I’m ya Fatha.

Dad 1 was delighted with himself, as if he came up with this gem on his own. He walked off with his chest feathers puffed up.

The “I’m not your friend..” is only offered immediately after a tough interaction with your kid where you dealt them a little extra heat. Maybe they deserved it. Maybe they didn’t.

Our software package updates as we age and these phrases get installed from any number of places and we dump them on our own kids.

What would it feel like to be on the receiving end of that line?

What’s a small kid supposed to do with that?

From Ryan Holiday’s “The Daily Dad”

When I think about how I want to be with my kids, especially when they’re little, I picture a “wise older brother.” The older brother who shows you what music to listen to and what swears are the most fun to combine into compound words.

“Ya but, what about discipline? What about setting boundaries?”

Yes. We are responsible for our kids. Most asshole kids have asshole parents. I can be hard on my kids, too. I’m trying to send them off into the world with good manners and to choose to sit with the kid eating lunch alone.

I have my own dumb things that I say to my kids but I think we can do better than, “I’m not ya friend…”