Very good to excellent storytelling. I enjoyed reading it and you capture it well.
You have a style of a multitude of staccato short sentences which is a great style in an action packed story as it feels like accelerating heartbeats. It feels like machine gun fire and sometimes machine gun fire is exactly what a story needs.
It is a little hard to maintain that pace for a longer story and it deadens the beat a bit like eating too many potato chips.
Stories are, after all, a series of connected ideas or beats and you have plenty of world class ones that resonate with readers. How many people have ever put on or taken off a wetsuit? Bravo.
You don't have to do much to lengthen your sentences - a few prepositions to conjoin similar sentences and thoughts - and to change up the pace a little.
Take a look at your story and find your longest sentence.
A product like ProWritingAid will tell you how many sentences you have of any given length. It is very helpful as I am a notorious short sentence machine gunner myself.
Look at the entry for PWA below. It is actually on a sentence length graphic.
Your Mainedreaming triggers my Mainedreaming.
Very good to excellent storytelling. I enjoyed reading it and you capture it well.
You have a style of a multitude of staccato short sentences which is a great style in an action packed story as it feels like accelerating heartbeats. It feels like machine gun fire and sometimes machine gun fire is exactly what a story needs.
It is a little hard to maintain that pace for a longer story and it deadens the beat a bit like eating too many potato chips.
Stories are, after all, a series of connected ideas or beats and you have plenty of world class ones that resonate with readers. How many people have ever put on or taken off a wetsuit? Bravo.
You don't have to do much to lengthen your sentences - a few prepositions to conjoin similar sentences and thoughts - and to change up the pace a little.
Take a look at your story and find your longest sentence.
A product like ProWritingAid will tell you how many sentences you have of any given length. It is very helpful as I am a notorious short sentence machine gunner myself.
Look at the entry for PWA below. It is actually on a sentence length graphic.
https://blog.reedsy.com/book-writing-software/
Well played. I need to buy a Maine house.
JLM
www.themusingsofthebigredcar.com